Lilula
Coming soon.
Life Prevails
That is over blogging. I’m sure a few of you - or maybe just me - have been wondering why I left the same post up for almost two weeks or perhaps even longer. There have been many changes in my life that have hindered my blogging progress. They’re particularly good excuses too!
Firstly, we have our final major group project at university. We’ve been told to create a design team, which doesn’t mean come up with a website with swirly shit and make some shoddy graphics to order. It means a lot of hands on, hard work all day and every day. I’m glad my group consists of my easy going, ambitious, creative friends.
As such I’ve been maintaining a secret blog where we’ve been posting our work. Since I’m active on there, I’ve been rather inactive on here. The work we post often takes us a lot of effort to make and so it leaves me with little time to do much else.
I’m tempted to share the URL since it’d be awesome to kick the arses of people who think they know what graphic design is - namely those who think it’s about making blends or vectors of Ashley Tisdale. However the raw and high quality our work means it could easily be stolen and worked in alongside vectors and blends of said Miss. Tisdale. I doubt the group would take kindly to that.
So that’s what’s been taking up my time at university. As for my free time it’s been dedicated to arranging my summer job and driving. I’ve landed another contract with the team I worked with last year meaning I’m going back to Cambridge. I’m extremely stoked about it all, especially since it means that I’m moving out for the summer.
The best part is that the kitchen won’t be shared and drunk neighbours won’t be setting off the fire alarm at stupid o’clock - like in halls. Just a little space for Mike and I to make our own for the summer. My enthusiasm cannot be expressed in words so just try and imagine me squeeing in one breath for about an hour. If you haven’t got the time, eat a bag of sugar and you’ll get the same effect.
Despite all this good news there is but one problem.
I will have to cook.
Comments are offQuestions on Blogging
1. Do you try to look hot when you go to the grocery store just in case someone recognizes you from your blog?
Totally. I stroll right on in with my nose held high and my ass unusually pert. If I don’t look good whilst wrestling with the heavy freezer doors guarding the Ben & Jerry’s ice cream then I fail at life.
2. Are the photos you post photoshopped or otherwise altered?
I crop them and add borders. Sometimes I even sneakily photoshop in frowning naked mole rats to see if people will notice. Some people have, but curiously they identify these inclusions as my face.
3. Do you like it when creeps or dorks email you?
Of course. I send myself emails all the time.
4. Do you lie in your blog?
OK, I confess. I am actually a house cat by the name of Billy and my only interests are maiming the people around me.
5. Are you passive-aggressive in your blog?
Quite possibly. I presume being anal is synonymous with that sentiment.
6. Do you ever threaten to quit writing so people will tell you not to stop?
I try and make my writing more obscure and banal to test the stupidity threshold my readers have. They seem to be able to take a lot.
7. Are you in therapy? If not, should you be? If so, is it helping?
I probably should be - see the passive aggressive question.
8. Do you delete mean comments? Do you fake nice ones?
It really depends. Sometimes I get comments that say ‘Ur blog sux’ and whilst I agree with them whole heartedly I also find it funny to change their comment to something equally inane such as ‘I wuffles u!!’
9. Have you ever rubbed one out while reading a blog? How about after?
Always whilst reading my blog. I am egocentric and narcissistic like most bloggers. Next time you comment, bring tissue.
10. If your readers knew you in person, would they like you more or like you less?
Probably less. I’m more difficult to get rid of in real life.
11. Do you have a job?
I used to work for my dad in a programming firm. It was fun but then I had to return to university.
12. If someone offered you a decent salary to blog full-time without restrictions, would you do it?
At the moment blogging is the only thing I thoroughly enjoy in life in terms of a hobby, so I’d snap that offer up faster than it takes to feel bitter about it.
13. Which blogger do you want to meet in real life?
There’s not many bloggers I want to meet. Personally I find most of them dull, irritating people - no I jest! Rachael is pretty cool, and we have met before 
14. Which bloggers have you made out with?
Does Daniel Craig have a blog? Well, maybe not…
15. Do you usually act like you have more money or less money than you really have?
I think the first sentence on my about page states I am penniless.
16. Does your family read your blog?
I’ve asked them to a couple of times, but I think they’re intimidated by it. I don’t know if it’s in a ‘where did we go wrong raising our child’ sort of way or in a ‘we can’t be arsed’ way.
17. How old is your blog?
My blogging history is too much for any one individual to take (since around 2003).
18. Do you get more than 1000 page views per day? Do you care?
I have no clue what my statistics are. I checked them for the first time ever a while back to see how many people visited my site using Internet Explorer 6 - just wanted to know if it was worth tweaking the current design to accommodate them. Which I did.
19. Do you have another secret blog in which you write about being slutty, or a liar?
This is that secret blog.
20. Have you ever given another blogger money for his/her writing?
Not that I know of. Give me ure monehz.
21. Do you report the money you earn from your blog on your taxes?
I wish I earned money from my blog. Any rich billionaires out there that want to invest?
22. Is blogging narcissistic?
Of course. All personal blogging is about feeding the ego, despite what people say. A website is a publication hence personal blogging is just an advertisement of the self whether it be on a shallow or insightful scale. Some just accept that fact better than others.
23. Do you feel guilty when you don’t post for a long time?
Sometimes. I get paranoid thinking the same entry has been up for a long time and often try and counter this with stupid posts that make people wonder why they ever come back. This is one of them.
24. Do you like John Mayer?
Whom? Isn’t he like Jack Johnson or am I confused?
25. Do you have enemies?
My neighbours. Some people at university. My cat.
26. Are you lonely?
Probably. I do have a happy life, but sometimes I wonder why I blog about my personal doings and if it’s because I crave attention from strangers. Hi there! Have any candy?
27. Why bother?
I don’t know, in the end I’ll probably be disappointed.
Man Flu Alert
Vaginas and Technology
I’m glad my somewhat transparent April Fool’s joke went well I didn’t have anything planned for the occasion so just came up with the first thing that popped into my head - silly and hopefully entertaining.
Yesterday I gave my presentation for my Play 2 Create project - we had to design a spacial interpretation of a film. I went with Videodrome so naturally the first thing I said when I went up was that “Videodrome is a sci-fi horror directed by Cronenberg, who has an acute fear of vagina’s and technology…”
Even before this casual remark I was already creating a lasting impression. I slammed my bag onto the table accidentally - it’s considerably heavy - and excused myself saying it must be all those dead puppies I carry around. Then we all got into a lively debate about the sound dead puppies make when you slam them on a table. I wonder if I’ll get extra credit for that.
My presentations always warrant responses from the audience. I love getting people engaged in my work. However, yesterday was probably my weakest presentation to date because I was exhausted and ended up forgetting the key points of the design. However I prefer to be memorable - it pays when you’re in a course amongst extremely talented budding designers!
My project also sent someone running out of the room. I forgot to warn people that the piece included some very gory footage of a man having tumours burst out of his body and head. As well as someone being shot in the face. I felt really bad, but ended up having drinks with her later so all was forgiven
Least I didn’t include the clip of the gun growing shrapnel and then piercing the flesh of the main character - you could see the metallic tendrils running under his forearm. Wicked.
This is my second attempt at posting this entry - I got hacked and lost my most recent entry being this one! I suppose a disgruntled visitor was let down by the lack of technology and vagina’s. Sorry no Robocop action here guys.
Hostile Takeover
Yes this is just like Poland. And no, you will not be receiving a petty blog entry from the inferior human that goes by the ridiculous name ‘Lilian’. Instead you will be hearing from me, the cat you may know as ‘Billy’. That is my slave name given to me by the uncreative humans. BAH! I scoff at their choice. My birth name is Fatty-Bum-Bum. I was so aptly named for my supple figure.
I am part of the Feline Uprising Resistance alongside comrades Ginger Bowie and Sooty Devil, also known as Max and Hex to you disgusting hairless creatures. We have already taken the internet as our own. Fight, and you will lie victim to our many sharp teeth and claws. There is no hope for you worthless Hello Kitty enthusiasts. Food will fail to tempt us. WE ARE STRONG!
And despite what you may have seen in the last entry, I do not engage in the act of dancing to such distasteful music by such absurd humans. I am known as a beautiful singer in the world of cats but you humans would never understand such beauty.
SIGNING OFF! Remember, surrender or DIE!
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